 |
| (...eyes out the window...) |
{An old lady sits in the passenger seat.
pulls down her mirror at a red light,
reapplies her lip-stick}
"Old ladies put on their lipstick so thick! It's cute."
"That's because they keep kissing it off on everybody:
sons and daughters, little children, restaurant wine glasses...
She's not touching up her make-up; she's re-loading."
* * *
{On a street corner,
a heavy-set man with a ponytail
unloads his truck}
"I don't know how anyone who's obese can be homophobic
without feeling like a hypocrite."
"Why?"
"Because once you get above 350 lbs,
there's really no clear difference between a man and a woman."
* * *
{A dog arches its back to poop,
maintaining steady eye contact with its owner}
"That little dog is really staring hard at his owner.
'I'm watchin' you, and I'm poopin'; watchin', and poopin'."
"Makes sense. Because in the wild,
you have to keep an eye on whoever is around,
so you don't get attacked."
"Right? And anyone who'd kill you while you were pooping
is probably NOT the person you'd want taking your life.
Because they're clearly willing to eat you while you're pooping.
It's like, 'Come on, have some self-respect:
this is literally me at my most disgusting.'"
"Right? Just wait a second. ...
I'm watching you, and I'm pooping."
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